There’s no easy way to deal with the loss of a loved one. Wherever there is attachment and loss, there is also the pull of grief.
Loss is often seen as a typical event in our lives, but this doesn’t mean that we aren’t overcome by shock and confusion. While the death of a loved one ends a life, it does not end our relationship with them or our love for them.
You’ll deal with a mixture of emotions that can feel overwhelming. And, those feelings will be influenced by many things, including your relationship with the person, what caused their death, and whether or not you get the right support.
But the way you’ll experience these feelings and the way you will cope with bereavement are also influenced by your personality, cultural background, and your religious beliefs. This means that each of us has a particular way to react to loss and use very personal coping mechanisms for grief.
Coping with grief is a unique process for each person
Despite what people around you will say, coping with bereavement is a process as unique as every individual who experiences it. Adjusting to the reality that your loved one is gone takes time and it doesn’t follow a predictable pattern. Thus, it is essential to know that what is normal in the grieving process is different for each person.
Shock, numbness, feeling overwhelmed, relief, and anger are often the expected phases when coping with grief. Yet, how and when these phases appear can differ from one person to another.
Today, you may experience your emotions tucked under a rather out-of-body feeling. The next day, you may feel your insides crushed by the loss of your loved one. One day, you may feel like throwing and breaking things. And, another day, you may feel weirdly at peace.
So, it’s essential to give yourself time and embrace the natural process of grieving that we all have to go through.
“Get over it” is a myth
Despite what others around you, people who lack understanding about grief, might say, grief isn’t something that you get over in time. Indeed, sadness often fades in intensity over time. However, grieving is a process that isn’t only about getting rid of sorrow. It is also a process that should focus on healing and accepting the new reality around you.
Getting healed from bereavement can only be achieved through a process that gives you closure not through allowing yourself to “get over it” with time.
Why talk to a therapist?
Grief is an entirely different process for every person who experiences. And, no matter how much your loved ones would like to help you through this process, they can rarely understand your way of coping with a bereavement. That’s why you need to talk to a grief therapist that can help you move forward at your own pace and your way.
The more support and understanding we get during a hard time, such as the event of losing a loved one, the easier it is to cope and achieve closure.