Miscarriage – life after death


It makes no difference whether this is your first miscarriage or one of several, nor whether you have other children at home; losing a baby due to miscarriage is like any other loss and if not handled correctly, can leave the mother and even the father and rest of the family in pieces.

Whether you find yourself in this upsetting situation or know someone going through it, remember that there is always help and support that can assist, particularly in the form of therapy.

The bereavement period

The emotional impact can also be exacerbated by the practicalities that need to be attended to at a time when you just want to mourn.  Organising the memorial or burial service may seem like a step too far. The hospital should be able to help and can advise you who you need to talk to if you are unsure of the process.  Although you don’t officially need to register a miscarriage, your hospital may provide you with a formal certificate in order to mark what occurred.

You may find yourself reeling immediately after the miscarriage or the trauma may not kick in until many weeks later.  Depending upon how you feel and the circumstances of your loss, it is sadly only too common for you to find yourself facing a period of bereavement.

Getting support

If you or your partner are suffering due to the loss of your baby, counselling or therapy can help.  There are support groups that specifically help those dealing with miscarriage or your hospital or GP will be able to put you in touch with a therapist who can work with you on a personal one-to-one basis.  They may recommend seeing you as a couple or individually; much will depend upon how you are being affected.

The symptoms felt after going through a miscarriage can vary a lot and may be physical as well as emotional.  You may feel overly tired, disinterested in food, unable to sleep or just unable to stop crying.  Some mothers experience anger, shock and even feelings of guilt, particularly if friends around them have had successful pregnancies.

How therapy can help

Your therapist can help if you need to talk about your feelings.  In this way, even the most painful of subjects can be touched upon and brought to the fore.  If the thought of attempting pregnancy again is too much to bear and you feel depressed and anxious, a skilled counsellor will be able to help.  Your partner may be feeling similar feelings but bottling them up, thinking that they cannot show their grief as they need to support you and be strong.  If this is the case, your therapist may invite you both to talk and discuss how you are feeling together.  If you do not talk things through then your relationship may begin to suffer so taking part in therapy or some sort of counselling can help prevent further problems later on.

If you would like us to put you in touch with a suitable therapist to discuss your loss and help you to get through the period of bereavement, fill in the details on our website. We will then provide details of counsellor in your area.

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